Dear Santa

Dear Santa -

I've been a very -- who am I kidding; you see all, you know all -- okay, I've been a reasonably good boy this year. I only shot BB's at the neighbor's cat two or three times, I swear I wasn't actually doing 80 in that 55 mph zone like the highway patrolman said, and I still manage to find time to mow my Grandma's lawns every two weeks. That should be good for something besides coal in the stocking, wouldn't you say?

Good. Here's the deal -

You know how I am about my Redskins, right? I mean, they're IT for me. I understand that I'm not going to see a fourth Lombardi under the tree at Redskins Park this year, and that's okay. Soon, I hope...but for now, I understand. Hey, you've pretty much got your hands full this time of year, so let's just put that on the back burner. Since we're talking Burgundy and Gold, however, there are a couple things you could get me.

I'll even throw in an extra plate of cookies and a pitcher of milk to sweeten the deal.

First things first. I would like the same head coach next year. As far as I'm concerned, he's working off a set of blueprints he didn't design. I know construction, and believe me, that ain't always easy to do. I say give him at least another year to bring in some players he wants, and let's see what happens. If he fails, there should still be a few big names out there that Dan Snyder can throw sums the equal of small countries' GNP at to come and coach this team. Every year there are a few out there, right? So we should give the man at least one more chance to show his stuff, I think.

Second, and this should be near and dear to your heart, you big rolly-polly. LINEMEN. Thunderbutts. The Big Uglies. Be they defensive, offensive, American, Canadian, democratic or communist, so long as they can line up and knock the snot out of whoever is across from them I don't care. They'll do. If you've watched any of our games this year, Kris, then you already know our interiors are as poorly crafted as Wal-Mart furniture. They just won't hold up under any kind of strain. It would be nice to see some fresh, hungry, mean young faces wearing indian head helmets next year in training camp. I mean seriously cool.

Even better than that Planet of the Apes tower you gave me when I was 11.

Lastly, big guy (I know I'm just one of many so I'm keeping this short), I would like Joe Gibbs to return to the fold. Hold on, wait a sec -- I know you don't work miracles. You're powers aren't infinite. I just want Joe to maybe be an informal advisor, sort of how Bill Walsh came back to the 49'ers as a "consultant" years after he stepped down as coach. Lord knows Jim Zorn could use all the help he can get right now. Who better to not only whisper in his ear, but also patch up any friction between he and his star players, than the Legend? I know I'm being selfish here. Joe Gibbs has already given more to this great organization than just about anyone else, alive or dead; he has his family and NASCAR to keep him busy, and let's face it -- the man doesn't have all that much time left. But if you could, Nick, maybe you could arrange for him to help steer this train back onto the tracks, just one more time.

Well, that's it. I've taken enough of your time. Thanks in advance for everything I do get, Santa. I say it every year, but you're the greatest.

Oh, and watch out when you come down the chimney this year. I still haven't repaired that flue.


Yours Truly,

BigRedskinDaddy

Eeny Meeny Miney MO!

Well, friends, here we are. The stretch run. The playoff push. Crunch time. With three weeks remaining in the 2008 regular season, the Redskins stand at 7-6. The fact that they are last in their division and ninth in the conference wouldn't be so disturbing in and of itself, were it not for the fact they have gone 1-4 since starting the first half of the season with an impressive 6-2 record.

Clearly, things are not rosy in D.C.

Coming off the heels of their latest defeat, yet another manhandling by a more physical, more determined, more intense team, the rumor mill has kicked into high gear. Rookie Head Coach Jim Zorn may have lost the team. His job may depend on winning out this year. The defense may be pointing fingers at the shadowy, insubstantial ghost of a unit that is the offense. Daniel Snyder's cell phone LUDS might reveal a stalker-like obsession with Bill Cowher, erstwhile prodigal son Gregg Williams, or both...

The list goes on and on. And on and on.

This should come as no surprise; the only thing standing between the team and a "world is ending" five-game losing streak is a win against the woeful Seahawks 3 games ago in the 'Skins home away from home, otherwise known as anyplace but FedEx. It has almost become an annual event in Washington, this November swoon. Just as summer yields to fall, and the leaves change their colors, the Burgundy and Gold invariably charge full speed into the wall that is Thanksgiving month. Sometimes, they bounce off it like a steroid crazed Tasmanian devil, then spin cyclone-like into the playoffs. Other times, they land on the seat of their pants, and there they stay.

Which course will this season take? I don't know. I can only hope.

I know this much. This next game, against the hapless Bengals, could not possibly have come at a better time. We should all say thank you to the NFL gods for this particular bit of good luck. Next to the Lions, Cincinnati is the football version of NyQuil -- the coughing, sneezing, stuffy-head so you can get back on a winning streak medicine. In sports, perhaps more so than in anything else, momentum plays a vital role. Once generated, it tends to snowball and feed on itself; once lost, it leaves behind an inertia that is very difficult to overcome. If this squad is to have any hope of righting itself, as the late great Elvis Presley once crooned, it's now or never.

With that in mind, here follows a list of some things I would like to see this Sunday.

1. Creativity. As DeForrest "Bones" Kelley used to say, damnit Jim. I think your secret's out. Portis left, Portis right, JC pass, then punt just isn't getting it done anymore. At least not out of the usual 3 WR sets you love, it isn't. You want to establish the run? Fine. Let's mix things up a little. There's a fine blocking TE, more of a Tackle-lite really, on your roster. Guy by the name of Todd Yoder. You don't want to throw to him, okay. At least put him to use on the other side of Cpt. Chaos and let him slog in the mud a little. With the injuries and age of this offensive line a little heavy jumbo type action couldn't hurt.

Or perhaps, and call me addled here, just maybe we don't run at all on first down. Remember the quick slant? Bunch formations? Rub routes? I know, they're not the bubble screens and 5 to 10 yard in/out routes you seem to be madly in love with, but they might work nonetheless. I don't know if you've noticed, but we the fans sure as hell have: defenses are loading up the box like UPS trucks at Christmas to stop the inevitable running plays. And since we can't seem to provide a pocket that will hold up long enough for a five, much less a seven step drop, quick hitters like those could be just the thing.

2. Speaking of pockets, the offensive line wasn't exactly a juggernaut before Chris Samuels and Jon Jansen left the game against the Ravens. I'm not sure Devin Clark will make matters much better. I realize it's late in the year, and much is at stake, but this is still a great time to find out what Rino can do. Put Stephon Heyer at LT since he's the best pass pro lineman you have left, and stick Chad in on the other side. He played T in college, albeit on the left side. He's apparently being groomed to replace Kendall or Thomas at some point, but for now I have to think he's a better option than Justin Geisinger out there on that island. If he doesn't work out, you throw Fabini in there. Just once this season I'd like to see Jason walk off the field after a game having never touched the turf with anything other than his cleats.

Whether or not Jansen can go is now irrelevant. Jon, I love ya for what you've given to this team, but we need to call it a day. Have a seat, big guy. We'll let you know when we need you.

3. While we're on the subject of rookies, may I suggest actively involving Mssrs. Thomas and Kelly? I mean really getting them touches. I don't know but that it can't be that hard to draw up 3 or 4 routes they can run this week. Maybe more than once. After all, you don't seem shy about repetition. They're both big, fast and pose matchup problems out there, so throw them the ball. Let the kids play, coach. Let 'em play. By now it's painfully apparent that ARE frightens no one as the #2, and James Thrash might as well be taping ankles in the locker room for all the impact he's had on the field...so go for it. Albert Einstein once said, "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

You're not crazy, are you? I didn't think so.

4. A spark. Something needs to happen for this team to get fired up again. What better way to do that than a quick TD, say on special teams? I'm not sure what exactly ails our punt return teams, but whether it's the blocking or something entirely different, the aforementioned Randel-El obviously can't overcome it. Remember when Tana broke one against the Lions? That TD that proved to be the difference in the game? Well...let him try it again. If his strained hamstring is too much at risk, throw DeAngelo Hall back there. He's almost fully integrated on defense now; indeed, it's nearly seems like he came out of Va Tech straight to the 'Skins, doesn't it? He is a proven commodity on PR, with speed and elusiveness that your normal returner has lost to age. If nothing else he's shown he knows how to catch a ball, so you should be able to put any fears of a turnover from a muffed punt to rest. I can think of few things that fire up an entire sideline like a cheap 6 without the offense even having to trot onto the field.

Which brings me to my last, most important wish -

5. Points. We still haven't topped 30 one single time this season. We haven't scored more than 20 in the last eight -- count 'em, EIGHT -- games, and that only once. This is a good defense, I know, but for the love of Mike...how much do you expect them to carry? The '85 Bears might not have won more than the 10 we're shooting for this year if Sweetness, McMahon and Co. had only averaged 10.6 a game, which is what this offense has to show for it's production these last five games. No one's asking your guys to be last year's Patriots, just totals a little closer to three TD's a game than not would be nice. You've been looking a little haggard lately, a by-product of the stress of losing in a football mad city, no doubt. What better way to take a load off than to put a game away relatively early by scoring in bunches, and then turn the dogs loose on D and watch what happens? I know you've got it in you. You know they've got it in them.

Time to quit talking about it, and just do it.